Monday, October 23, 2006

been trying to smile the whole day long. and i became so shag and tired after the whole day. in fact, i have beeen looking so shag the whole day today. i am jus not myself. i laugh and i play. when quiet moments come, and when i come to recall, when i come to look at the photos, i cant control it.. missing sha. feeding time, one less quantity to put.. one more pain. looking at et who obviously felt lonely in my room.. i dropped ..... again..

thanks to all of my frens who are asking abt me and consoling me.. i will be okie.. give me sometime.. if i am not being myself these few days forgive me aite..

suddenly have the urge to say this.. i wan frens who are willing to share with me their happiness and sorrows.. and one who is willing to listen to me when they noe i need a listening ear.. i dun like to disturb or trouble anyone.. sometimes when i have the tendency to tell someone, i will think for sometime before i approach.. cos i wan to make sure i noe the person wont find it ridiculous when i relate my matter to him/her.. it hurts to noe how much i wan to tell them and then get to noe how much they dun care..

perhaps afterall, this is the furthest we can get.. you need not try.. cos i noe even if u tried, the ending is still the same.. right? i shld be the one leaving and finding a new life.. i shld be the one not falling down in front of u and cry.. i shld be the one who can walk to u and tell u, hey. we'll be frens forever. and only frens. but all in all. i noe i cant.

what we could have been, 11:43 PM.