Tuesday, July 29, 2008
i dont know what happen to my phone out of sudden! there is no network coverage! i cannot receive sms-es, i cannot send sms-es.. i cannot even make phone calls! and i doubt people can get to me too.. =( so sad.. i seriously hope its just the sim card problem and i dont have to bring my phone for repair.. if not i will be sending a total of 3 phones to repair! thats like so sad and busy of me.. anyway.. i've been really tired recently.. and i find myself being more and more lazy especially when there are people there to help me. x cannot!! in fact i think i am more hard working when i am alone. hahaha. but that will make me dead by the end of the day. haha. i miss those times where i kept on working morning and working full without getting tired at all. where has all my energy gone to?! oh damn. i need to pump up my energy level..
sighs. talking about all those things.. life has been so dead too. like seriously, i need something to make me happy. i dislike pulled down emotions and i dislike quarrels.. i dislike disputes and even misunderstandings just like how i dislike cockroaches. i dislike being maligned when i say dont get into people's head at all. and being strong headed, we end up quarrelling. eg, i need to explain to my mm about my life, my doings and everything and at the same time i need her to understand me as well.. it's not that she dont understand.. i bet she understands.. just that she needs time.. what to do? she is my mm. so same like me. abit slow. =x yah. other than her, sighs. yah. i hope things will get better..
the thought of leaving ms is really coming into me now. i dont want to be the only one pulling down the whole thing and i find myself becoming more and more shag. alright. maybe they are just excuses. maybe i have the choice to choose from. but i didnt want to. i didnt make the right choice or things like that. all these is going to drain me out of my energy, my time, my relationship with my family. as well as friends. i just suddenly feel kind of lonely and helpless.
i wish i could go back to the past when all was young and innocent. come on.. dont take away my number 1! i hate number 2. and am not gonna like number 3 either.
sighs. talking about all those things.. life has been so dead too. like seriously, i need something to make me happy. i dislike pulled down emotions and i dislike quarrels.. i dislike disputes and even misunderstandings just like how i dislike cockroaches. i dislike being maligned when i say dont get into people's head at all. and being strong headed, we end up quarrelling. eg, i need to explain to my mm about my life, my doings and everything and at the same time i need her to understand me as well.. it's not that she dont understand.. i bet she understands.. just that she needs time.. what to do? she is my mm. so same like me. abit slow. =x yah. other than her, sighs. yah. i hope things will get better..
the thought of leaving ms is really coming into me now. i dont want to be the only one pulling down the whole thing and i find myself becoming more and more shag. alright. maybe they are just excuses. maybe i have the choice to choose from. but i didnt want to. i didnt make the right choice or things like that. all these is going to drain me out of my energy, my time, my relationship with my family. as well as friends. i just suddenly feel kind of lonely and helpless.
i wish i could go back to the past when all was young and innocent. come on.. dont take away my number 1! i hate number 2. and am not gonna like number 3 either.
Labels: =((
what we could have been, 2:46 AM.
