Wednesday, July 23, 2008
okie. its time. really time. why do all the bad things happen today! or rather these 2 days! its a bad bad tues and wed. ha. firstly, my schedule is soooo packed. meeting up with lovelies. different groups of lovelies. on different days. i need to leave my saturday off, my monday off, my wednesday and friday as well. damn. other than meeting up with them, i still have my music school. we'll be going to some studio somewhere to record our interview with.. .. a DJ but i cant remember the name.. =x and then we'll have lessons on sunday. as usual. and then very soon, we will be learning abt the movements. dancings, facial expressions and alot of other things. well well. im kinda excited but also stressed. ya. cos. of the late night home.. yup.ok other than that.. ps new management. totally....... shucks. maybe i looked at it too seriously. or maybe to me, all these is too much. overboard. i just feel that being at work makes me feel so fake. having to put on a front in the face of customers. when deep down, all these feelings are not real and it is so tough. so many of a time when im totally moodless to the point where i dun even feel like talking and saying anything. but. afterall i still have to talk. i need a break. but i dun wan any break. i dun wan any break for me to stay home. i want to have more time out. but i dread going shopping. i dread going out and play. perhaps im shld take royal caning extigent. note to self. maybe im just not in the mood now. but however i do enjoy playing. haha. i enjoy the times out. okie. i dont know what im trying to say here but yeah. nvm. but i need to know the reason why. why do things change. the feeling is so weird. so.. unfamiliar.. so.. stranger. sighs. i still have to face it anyway. there is no way to hide. no way at all. (topics are jumped all arnd. based on what comes to my mind first.)
and finally. i shld really give things up. for the final time. once and for all. i hate having to say it all the time and not doing it everytime. each time i say it, i say for real, i end up turning my back to the main point. today, i did something i shldnt have done. invading of other's privacy. i know out of curiousity i will do it. i know for sure it seems like my weekly routine. but i have no idea why i chose to open up certain things which i usually wont do. only to see some things i think will make me drop. yes. true enough what laoshi said is so true. cancerians are emo. and they think alot. they get hurt easily but hey trust me. im being strong enuff alr! YES! after all, faces win. and they really do. and the straightforwardness of them shows everything.
now. its the end!
i have the urge to,
go swimming,
go movie-ing,
go badminton-ing
go overseas,
go seaside,
go sentosa,
go do things that are crazy,
try out things which i nv dared to in the past,
go clubbing,
go singing,
go dancing,
go take up dancing lessons,
take up drawing lessons,
take up fashion design,
study in poly once again!
all these are crazy. i dont think i will even do them.
what we could have been, 2:58 AM.
